2 posts tagged “work”
Well, since I suck at keeping my vox 'hood updated...here's a messed up one.
So, first off, what was the last thing I vox'd about? My surgery...oh my second surgery. Riiiiiiight. Well since then, I've had two injections in my back because of my effed up nerve. Apparently there's these nerves in your foot and sometimes they freak the hell out after surgery/injury and that's what mine is doing. So, these huge ass shots in my back are supposed to deaden this nerve and "reset" it so it'll calm down. I'm a freak though remember, so it hasn't worked. Here's a snippit of what I've sent to my work comp adjuster and my manager at work, this will give you an idea of what I've been going through for about 6 weeks now!
I thought this would be the easiest way to keep you both informed at this point. Just as a refresher I had my 2nd nerve injection in my back on Wednesday this week. Sadly it did not ease the pain at all, if possible it has made it a little worse. Dr. X, my pain management doc, said that there are a few things left to try; another injection, a device of some sort implanted in my back to continuously block the nerve or kill the nerve all together. I have another follow-up appt on Thursday.
My status as of now is I've been out of work since Thursday, April 10th. I'll be very honest, I'm on Percocet to help with the pain. With that all I do is sleep because it's such a heavy narcotic. My quality of life is horrible. I sleep all the time, I cannot go anywhere because of the meds I'm on, I cannot drive, I cannot even walk around the grocery store to do shopping. I cannot clean my house nor can I watch my daughter play t-ball because I cannot stand that long. The only time I'm not on the medication is if I have to pick up my daughter from school/daycare if my husband has a meeting. Since I cannot drive or adequately watch McKenna, then I cannot take the meds. On those days I'm pretty much curled on the couch or in bed due to the pain. Also, I cannot wear socks/shoes because the pressure hurts too badly or even if my pants legs brush up against my ankle/foot I'm in excruciating pain.
I know this is probably more information than you both need, but I feel that I need to be 100% honest about the situation. I'm afraid for my job. I'm afraid work will give up on me and I will no longer be "employable" or when I finally am able to come back I will be lost due to the daily changes. I love my job and my co-workers and it has been so difficult to not be there. I do not feel with the percocet that I can do my job. Because of the legal implications of me saying something really stupid or wrong. I can stop the medications but then, as I said before, the pain is so horrible that I cannot even think of anything else or really function.
I think I'm a strong person. I have days, weeks and occasionally a bad month here and there, but overall I'm pretty eff'ing strong. I thought that, until yesterday at work. Here's some background for you:
1. Avery's birthday is Friday the 22nd. She would have been 7 this year. I miss her tons but for the most part I smile when I think of her, rarely do I feel the burning of tears in my eyes when I think of her or hear her name.
2. I work for 10 hrs a day. On the phones for 8 hrs and 50 mins of these 10 hrs per day...I'm an insurance agent (it's nice saying that, not just customer service or phone work). 95% of my calls are from military members and their families. Sometimes I get a call like I did on Tuesday, which is the reason for this post.
The call started out completely normal, ie I need an insurance card and other questions. Then the call changed. I heard the cutest little noise on the phone, which I knew immediately as a newborn nursing. So, I had already started a relationship with this younger woman so I asked about the noise. She informed me that the noise was her 9 week old daughter, Avery. The more and more we talked the more I learned about her situation. This simple call drew into a 45 minute discussion about her young husband in Iraq missing the birth of their first child. She and Avery are living with some friends who's husband is also deployed. I got the young woman's car insurance taken care of but realized that we (my company) had more to offer her. I got our bank on the line since she had a credit card with us and I got her interest rate lower because of her deployed honey, down from 17.9% to 4% for a year. This young mom was totally stoked that I even thought of that, she thanked me profusely for helping her and her family. This is when the call turned into a heartbreaker. I told her it was the very least I could do because of her and her family's sacrifice while her husband is overseas. I explained that I appreciated everything that she and her husband are giving up for me and my family. Because of their selflessness my family is free and living how we are. I thanked her for trusting my company and also advised her to have a great day (the norm at the end of every call for me) then I said it..."give Avery a big hug for me". The young woman just giggled and said "I sure will", while I choked an "ok" from my throat and fought back the all too familiar burn in my eyes. I had to finish the call, hang up the phone and walk away.
I went to the bathroom with red eyes and mascara stained cheeks and finally realized I needed to call my mom. Mom said the usual wonderful things a mom says and it helped and had me smiling at the end of our call thank goodness.
So much of me was embarassed to breakdown at work, to call my mommy crying but mainly I just felt silly for getting so "involved" with a customer on the phone like that. After a few moments I realized THAT is what makes me kick ass at my job. That's why I'm not just answering calls all day. I mean maybe I made that young woman smile, maybe when she sees her Avery she'll always know to treasure and cherish every moment with her and maybe, just maybe, she'll now know that even with her husband overseas others care for her even though we've never met.
I think I was supposed to get that call yesterday...this week. I never forget about my angels, all of them, but I think it was God's way or letting me know that she is doing ok and she still thinks about me too!
