Ya know, it's nice knowing (with some certainty) when your baby will arrive. Yes there's the chance that he could come early (and some days I feel that way with the contractions and loss of part of my mucous plug), but for the most part I think he'll stay put for 10 more days. I like knowing that on that Monday morning I'll wake up, take a shower and put on a smidgen of makeup with waterproof mascara, get dressed with my burgeoning belly one more time, hug my only child one more time and take the 30 minute drive with my husband as a family of three one last time. It's bittersweet in a way. Kenna's life will totally change, as will ours as a family. I like being a family of three, it's fit us perfectly for 7 years. But at the same time I'm ready for the "upgrade" to a quartet and I think that we'll make a damn fine foursome as well.
I hope I know what I'm in for. I haven't had a newborn in forever and never a boy newborn at that. When I was pregnant with Jackson I didn't want a boy. I admit it. I didn't really know he was a boy until the day he died. I didn't want to know because I think in my heart I already did know and didn't want the disappointment. I'm being honest here people, it's not pretty and it's not "right" but it's the way I felt back then. As soon as I got my positive pregnancy test this time I knew it was a boy again. But this time I was totally stoked that it was a boy. Yes I joked that I wouldn't know what to do with his "parts", but inside I was bursting that I got my healthy son! Kenna's pretty happy it's a boy too, I thought for sure she wanted a girl, but she recently told me that she's happy with what we've got. Sean has yet to say that he's excited also. Not a guy of a ton of words, those who know him will attest to that, but I think he's pretty durn happy that his name will go on, at least for another generation.
It just amazes me that in a little over one week I'll be thrown back into diapers and bottles, crying and no sleep, cooing and drool. I never thought that we'd be there again, and I have to admit it feels damn good!
As you can tell, we're not on the countdown at all around here...nope not even Kenna. My appts lately are so boring that it's wonderful. Nothing new to report, amazing enough. I have NSTs weekly and Jay did great today. Played and had fun for the first part so well that they didn't care that he tuckered himself out and slept through the last half. My blood sugars are awesome, better than my docs is what he says. The nausea that plagued me for the first 2/3 of the pregnancy has now come back again. Which makes eating horribly hard, but I just take my meds and eat when I can.
I did find out a bummer today though regarding my c-section. Previously we were Ok'd to have my sis in there with us taking pics. Well, the hospital has a new policy (apparently due to litagation) where you cannot take a picture of any procedure at all, so they won't let sis in. I'm totally bummed because not only was she my photographer (my paparazzi), she was my support when/if Sean left with Jaylon. Now I'll be stuck on the table by myself, well and about 15 other people but they won't "care" about me and talk to me like sis would. Sis took the news wonderfully, I, however, wanted to cry.
But on some brighter news, Kenna lost another tooth last night, on the way to her softball game. She was really trying to get it out before we left but kept on trying in the car and suceeded. She now looks like a jack-o-lantern, I'll have to get a pic today. Also, Kenna went 3 for 3 at bats at the game! Her first hit in a game, then followed that up with two more at bats and two more hits! For those not into baseball stats (like mom!), that means she technically batted 1000! I'm so proud of her. She's also reading so much more and better. I can't get on the computer without her over my shoulder reading about the latest gossip from People.com!
Anyway, all is perfect in these parts. I have contractions all the time and they hurt my c-section scar, but doc said that's just the nerves that were cut during the previous one. I'm totally uncomfortable and don't sleep much, but I'll take it 'cause that means I have a healthy baby, for once! Oh and those asking about me and checking in...you are TOTALLY not bugging me. I just love that I have people who care in my life and your checking in means alot to me!
BTW...13 days!
Ah, another doc appt in the books. I had my usual NST, but this time Jaylon was asleep, the little booger. So they had to use the buzzer, which pissed him off totally. After the buzzer Jay woke up and started jumping around and looking perfect. My sugars look awesome, mean of 90, which my doc said is better than his! LMAO!
The awesome news is we're no longer "tentative" for the April 27th c-section...we're ON THE SCHEDULE! Wooooo hooo! Doc did say again that if there's any change, anything that doesn't feel right, any bleeding, any change in movement, etc to come to the hospital, no if's, and's or but's. He said he may not take him, but he would probably admit me and go from there.
I'm ready, I'm ready to meet my son and see what my daughter does with her brother. I'm ready to see this gorgeous little boy that we've been waiting on for years. We were always ok with having one child, we were perfectly fine with it. But then Jaylon happened and I realized that maybe we WEREN'T ok with having an only kid. Maybe we were just saying we were to protect ourselves. Sure, Kenna's a great kid and I don't know what I'd do without her, but maybe we weren't done. Jaylon is our gift, to us and to our daughter. The daughter who we thought would be our one and only, even though she was bummed about not having a sibling. The daughter that is a miracle; the daughter who I'm not sure how she even got here since she looked so shitty when she came out, the daughter who I'm surprised came out alive. Now she will have a little brother; a brother who is also a miracle.
How blessed are we?
I try and update on doc appt days which are Tuesday, but I have some anxious people out there...so here's a long one for ya!
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I only see my doc 2 more times before my section date and I cannot wait! Only 3 more weeks, unless he comes sooner. My last appt my doc said that if there is anything that he doesn't like or that doesn't look good he'll take the baby then. He'd much rather have a 34 weeker in the NICU than in a crappy uterus! Which I agree, but knowing that now at every appt if something is a little outta whack I'm in the hospital. My blood pressure has been a little high throughout this pregnancy and I'm wondering that if it goes higher or I start throwing more protien in my urine if that'll be the last straw for my doc. I've GOT to pack my bag and stick it in the car since it really could be any week now. I feel prepared for Jaylon to come. We have more clothes, blankets and such. I do know if he comes soon he'll be at the hospital for a bit longer, so if that's the case I'll be able to get more stuff before he comes home, KWIM?
I still need stuff for me; breast pump, breast pads, and other breast stuff, pads for after delivery, etc. But I may try renting a pump first then just going from there. Or buying a cheaper electric one then upgrading if this exclusive pumping works for us. I have some bottles and some formula just in case. I'll need more bottles since I'm pumping and not breast feeding. I also need to get bath stuff; shampoo, lotion, bathtub, diaper cream, etc. I still really want a bouncer too.
See, when you type it out it sounds horrible like I need a bunch of crap, but really I have quite a bit of stuff and we're ready for him. I'm headed to the store today to buy stuff to put in my bag so that'll be ready, but will hold off on other stuff for a bit longer.
Basically I'm just ready to be myself again. I feel better than I did with Kenna at this stage, I think it's the weight loss (I'm still down 25lbs and don't gain any because of the GD diet). But I'm ready to see him. I'll just keep chanting "3 more weeks...21 more days" and hopefully that will tide me over 'til he's here!
