The journey has forked.

* Preface * Ok, so my mom said I missed my calling, I should have become a writer she says.  Well, now she jinxed me.  I can’t come up with crap to write…yes I can come up with many ideas I want to blog about, but the words have left me.  This may not be the best blog ever so just bear with me…

A fork, a fork!  I’m at that point, standing in the road looking left…then right…then left again…then right again…which way do I go?  Good news, the ringer on the phone is back on; bad news, I still may not answer it.  Good news, I didn’t cry yesterday; bad news, I did today.  Good news, Auntie Flo showed today; bad news, seeing that just made it ever so clear again that I’m not having anymore kids. See, it’s that damn two steps forward, one evil step back thing…and I’m not dancing around with some fox/wolf thing like Paula Abdul did.  I’m more like dancing with myself and I must say I’m not that bad of a partner, since I tend to lead.  Which way do I go?...

There are so many questions out there and everyone seems to have an answer for us; adopt, have Sean’s nuts cut, don’t make any decisions yet, IUD for me, etc.  I know that this may hurt some of my faithful but…we’re adults.  Yes I like advice, when asked for.  Yes I like hearing other’s opinions, even if sometimes I don’t really listen.  But we are capable of making up our own minds on this one.  People are coming out of the woodwork, thanks to this blog, that I haven’t heard from in YEARS…telling me that Sean should head towards the big V and I don’t mean Vancouver.  People are telling me that it takes years to adopt, “better get started on that paperwork now girl.”  I’ve heard that more than half of marriages end when people go through what we have (don’t 50% end in divorce anyway people?) .  I’ve heard that IUD’s scare people, honestly a little piece of plastic/copper/whatever the fuck stuff inside of my uterus scares me too, but the thought of having another child scares me more at this point.  We really don’t want to do anything permanent yet, and I’m being selfish there.  You cannot imagine the guilt that if in 5 years there’s some new medical advances to find and treat whatever is wrong with me and one or both of us are snipped or otherwise.  I can deal with alternate means of birth control for a bit longer.  Which way do I go?...

You gotta love the internet.  Without it I would not be able to speak as often as I do to some people, I wouldn’t be able to have a great new business (see www.WhatsScrappening.com) with my wonderful sister, I wouldn’t be able to take college classes, and I wouldn’t be able to fill out the preliminary paperwork for an adoption center in Fort Worth.  Which way do I go?...

White babies, black babies, mixed race babies, international adoption, domestic adoption, and agency assisted adoption…ACK!  It’s enough to make someone scream.  But we took the fork marked “Adoption - $25,000 ahead”.  I will have plenty to say on the whole adoption scene, but for now just be happy for us that we’ve decided this, just be happy that neither of us are “going under the knife” and please just be happy.  We found which way we’re supposed to go!